Today Brooke went to school with tears in her eyes. And now here I sit feeling like a very guilty mother because I am the one that created those tears.
With only minutes to go before her carpool came, we still needed to get her backpack together and do something with her unruly hair. Knowing that she had a very sensitive little noggin I forgot to account for that, and tried to quickly comb through her snarly hair. That simple task turned into a melt down that we did not have time for. She covered her head with her arms and would not let me touch her head. I walked away in a huff and told her she was being very "unhelpful". The doorbell then rang and then more tears over having to go to school with out a clip, bow, ponytail, or anything in her hair.
And now I am left here with my thoughts. Even though she did make me very frustrated, I was wrong.
Earlier this morning as I was trying to straighten up, every time I asked her to run something to the toy room, laundry room, grab Danny some clothes, put the DVDs away. She obeyed. No complaints. She was being very "helpful".
At Costco, she ran after Ty every time he totted away and carried him back. And when he wanted to be carried through the store, she helped push the cart. She was being very "helpful".
Did I make just as big a deal about all of those helpful times as I did when my patience was up and I told her she was being "unhelpful"? Probably not.
I know that someday when Brooke is old enough to read this I will have long ago apologized and life would have gone on. But I just wanted her to be able to read this and know what a sweet little helper she was and how indispensable she is to our family. When you read this Brooke I'm sure you will know that I am not a perfect Mom but I am definitely trying to learn to love you perfectly.
8 comments:
Laura-you're such a good mom! Reading this made ME feel guilty at how many times I yell at my little Kaylea & I say MORE than just you're being "unhelpful." We have sensitive heads at our house too! You are so sweet. So maybe after Thanksgiving let's get the kids together!?
now i am crying laura....:). that was so amazing, i doubt there is a mother on this planet who hasn't felt major mom guilt for something we have said or done to our precious children....in fact i did it five mintues ago. i need to go do some apologizing!!
This post had me in tears too. I wish I could copy it and give it to my kids and pretend like I wrote it. It was written so beautifully. Thank you for having the courage to share it. Thank you for helping all of us "soften" our responses and reactions. I haven't had the opportunity to see you in action as a mom, but for all the years of our lives we were close friends, I can imagine nothing less than such love and insight fullness from you. You are an amazing person. Thank you for your example.
laura, you made me cry! i have had way too many mornings like that as well as I send Olivia to the bus stop on a sour note, then I feel guilty the rest of the day, hoping she got over it quicker than I did. Aren't we lucky that children are so quick to forgive?!
Laura, you are always the first and the best at apologizes. Your such a cute mom, and I am sure your cute little Brooke knows that too. I know the morning drama all to well, and unfortunately its always when they are walking away when I realize the tears were probably my fault. Ouch.
Combing the hair and fits of rage are a weekly occurance here in my house with three girlies. It is so hard when you look back on those moments wishing you could have done better. But Laura, I can honestly say you are one of the most amazing moms I have ever known. your kids are so blessed to have you. I am sure when she returns home from school all will be forgotten.
I can relate to this too. Just yesterday, as we were heading out to early church, I tried to run a comb thru Kelli's hair. Her hair had syrup in it..or toothpaste...who knows....but I knew it and tried to brush it anyway. She ended up crying...I was annoyed, etc.
You are a sweet mother and I appreciate the reminder this post is to me. I need these reminders everyday.
On my printer(in my line of vision right now) I tape quotes that I like. I think you will like this one. (I stole it off Camden's blog)
"I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the [family]. It's my personal approach that creates the climate. It's my daily mood that makes the weather. As a [mother], I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized." Haim Ginott
Hey Laura I need your address! E-mail me at: melisa_gabrielsen@hotmail.com
Thanks
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